From the
Other Side
of the Chair.

We meet people every day with deeply held beliefs, vivid memories and complicated emotions surrounding dentistry. Some arrive holding their breath. Some are embarrassed about the state of their teeth and offer apologies before we have even looked. Others carry a past experience into the room with them — something that hurt, something that frightened them, something that didn't go the way they hoped — and they arrive braced for it to happen again.

What We Understand

Dental anxiety is real, and it deserves patience, compassion and time. A good dental team will never shame someone for being afraid. We will slow down, explain what is happening step by step, listen carefully, and do everything within our power to help a person feel safe.

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We understand this fear more than most people realise. We see it every day. We have watched it soften with time, with trust, with a team that takes it seriously. We know that earning that trust is our responsibility, and we accept it willingly.

A Commonplace Phrase That Shouldn't Be Common

I am not sure there is any other medical profession where it has become the norm to say "I hate your profession" — yet "I hate the dentist" is something we hear nearly every week. It has become accepted as small talk, something so frivolous it is akin to commenting on the weather. It is never said to cause harm, and it carries no malice — and yet repeatedly hearing it, usually from new and anxious patients, is more wearing than most would imagine.

When we see patients, we try our best to understand their fears, even when those fears feel irrational. We understand that dentistry can bring up all sorts of emotions — not just from past dental experiences, but from other areas of life entirely. Before you tell your dentist you hate them, please remember that this common, harmless-seeming phrase is being directed at someone who has spent years training specifically to help you, and who is doing their absolute best to do so right now.

What the Work Actually Involves

Dentists are not simply fixing teeth. The scope of our work is broad — from diagnosing pain, to managing infection, to preserving tooth structure that is on the edge of being lost — while being acutely aware that the person in front of us may be frightened, uncomfortable, or already managing something hard.

We carry that awareness throughout every appointment.

We know that trust must be earned. We know that a previous experience — one we had nothing to do with — may have left a lasting impression. We know the chair can feel like a place of vulnerability, and we take that seriously. We carry the responsibility of trying to make this time different and better.

That responsibility is not a small thing. And it can be emotionally demanding in ways that are rarely acknowledged — even within the profession itself.

A Relationship Unlike Others

The relationship between patient and clinician is a close one — perhaps more so than in any other healthcare setting. There is physical proximity. A degree of vulnerability. An implicit trust that the person beside you knows what they are doing and cares deeply about the outcome.

It is a relationship that works best when both people feel safe.

Patients must feel safe enough to receive care. Clinicians must feel trusted enough to provide it.

Emotions transmit between people in small, powerful ways. When someone is deeply tense, the clinician becomes more alert, more cautious. When someone anticipates pain at every moment, we must move with even greater precision to keep the procedure safe. This is not a criticism of anxiety — it is simply an honest description of how closely connected we become during treatment, and why the emotional environment in the room matters for everyone.

The Best Dentistry

The best dentistry is almost always achieved through cooperation, communication and trust.

A patient who feels calm enough to communicate can tell us what they feel. A clinician who feels trusted can direct their full attention to the work. Concerns can be addressed before they escalate. Both people can move toward the same goal — the safest, most successful result possible.

We also understand that people delay treatment for many reasons. Fear, cost, competing responsibilities, past experiences, not finding the right practice — all of it is real, and none of it is judged. Our role is to explain what we can see, describe what may happen if something is left, and work together on a plan that feels possible for the person in front of us.

From Both Sides of the Chair

So the next time you arrive at a dental appointment feeling afraid, please tell us. Tell us what happened before. Tell us what you need in order to feel safer. Tell us to slow down, to explain more, to stop if it becomes too much.

Tell us anything that helps us understand.

But please try not to begin by telling us that you hate us.

We are not offended by fear. We are not disappointed by nervousness. We do not expect anyone to enjoy being in the dental chair, even though many of our patients do.

We simply hope to be met with the same care and respect that we are genuinely trying to offer in return.